The Telly & Me

What is with the quality of programs we see on television ? It is as if someone is trying very hard to send out a message of their incompetence. I mean the advertisements are so annoying that the it makes me want to cover my sensory organs in clingwrap, then duct tape them and bury myself. A 10 minute stint in front of the telly make me feel like someone has injected novacaine directly into my brain. The machine acts like a powerful drug, a siren calling us into dangerous waters of nonsensical thought.

It would be totally unfair to dismiss the telly in such a manner. The box does have its merits and ofcourse it was not invented with the singular purpose of reducing mankinds intellegience. It is only in the recent years with the corporate fixation on increasing brand visibility by advertisement that the television has become such a burden on the senses. Then again not all advertisements are bad some actually are very intelligent and I quiet enjoy watching them. But these are few and inbetween, the majority of these advertisements are like very high pitched noise that does not stop. The only method to get rid of it is to turn the box off. 

I turned twenty six today and I am not proud of it at all. I know, I know you puritans out there would think you have whiner on hand. Well, lets get this clear, I am not a whiner. I am a nobody. A invisible man. Life deals us each a round, good or bad, I happened to scoff at all. Hence, I am here. Out of the game, waiting at the sidelines, helping people. When I could have been at the center field. I am irony personified. I thought people were foolish to run behind bits of paper to prove they were good, now those bits of paper have become my bane. LOL! What can you call irony if not this. Experience is all that one has if one does not achieve his or her goal. Looks like I am going to die with a shit load of experience which served me no good.........I am tired. I wish, I donot wake up tomorrow. Let this b'day wish come true...please!

I have an on and off relationship with blogspot. I have not written anything in ages. But then again what do you write when your head is filled with these amazing ideas, snippets which vanish like the morning mist at the first rays of a distraction. Its not that I have a writers block but by the time I get to writing something I have already forgotten what to write. Like right now, as I was on a line of thought the bloody mobile rings and I have forgotten what to write. Is this a early signs that I suffer from dementia ? May be I will get Alzheimer's or some kind of horrific degenerative brain disorder.

shivers

They say the worst thing you can lose is your mind. I donot intend to lose it. Death before madness! I say! But then again if I do get it I might not remember to do something about it.

sigh

Is there no peace from this bipolarity of life ? or does it expect in n-space ? .......
Dammit! What was thinking about ? I have forgotten again.

sigh

Life Where Art Thou ?

Ever had the feeling when it feel's like you are watching your own life from somewhere above ? I have always considered myself the underdog - down but not out. But now that my life is in a tailspin all my bravado seems to have left me. Like a paper soldier I am folding. I seem to have lost all control over my life. It is very difficult to do anything with your mind not in your body, when
normalcy takes on a sinister shape. Am I going mad or is it just a phase. Or better still have I just woken up ? Was all I knew a illusionary world which I had pulled over my eyes ? Living in self denial and only now when someone with simple words slapped me across the face did I snap out. I feel old. Very old and tired. I just do not know anything but what I do know is that my future will be revealed in a place beyond the hill's and far away.

The Past few Days..

What a waste! I just spend the weekend doing absolutely nothing ....nothing!! What a waste! Friday night I went out with my friends to watch Eragon ... What a waste ( of money this time...maybe time also ). The director absolutely killed the movie.A very close friend of mine put it, when asked what he wanted to do to the director, Murder, Death, Kill! He has a penchant for this one liners... always has been. Anyway, I am digressing. The director has taken abundant liberties with the movie, it leaves one with the feeling he just did not care about the plot. Saphira the Dragon, looks like a Griffon! Dragons are scaly, there wing's are leathery ..NOT covered with feathers! Ok, I am nit picking but thats how I feel......

Dreams......

They came in hordes...crashing against the blocked,likes waves of the ocean. Thick and black. Screams....another one falls. There are not many of us left but here we stand, here we will die. For what life will it be to live in forever fear. It far better to die here, on this field, with them, who have become my family.

Some one calls. I prepare for battle. This is my last stand, to die with heros and like one. I wait and then they come, I brace my self....my palms are sweaty. My grip on the hilt is so hard that my knuckles hurt. Here they come.... I swing my sword . I donot know what I am hitting ....Something enters my chest....Blood.....Warm,Sweet....There is something in my mouth........Nothing matters. I am tired...I want to sleep......there is blue ocean over me......Darkness ...near...eye. Cann...not ....brea...th....ti...re...d............

Return of the Blogger ??

Its been a long time since I wrote something on this blog. I generally find it very hard to write anything. Well so many people have so much to say ...but then again why would you,my reader, be interested in what I have to say. I have no clue why I am even writing this...bah!! This my Heracritus like behaviour will be the end of me....

The Strange problem of growing up

The other day I was in Landmark to pick up a few books. The books which I had in mind were to be found in the kid's section. While I was there rummaging through the shelves trying to find a yet unspoiled copy of the books, something in a bubble pack got my eye. Like a moth to the flame I was drawn to it. It was a G.I. Joe figure. The site of it took me back ten years. There I was in the sand pile ( which had been put there for repair work ) with my action figures,fighting desperately to prevent an attack on a truck carrying precious candy. There with me was my brother, who was always made to play the bad guys much to his disappointment. Those were the days under the summer sun.

It is ironic that when I had the need for these toys I had no money. Now that I have money I just donot have the time to buy or play with them. Also the social stigma attached with young men playing with toys prevents me from getting it. But as I wandered through wonderland I came across LEGO. Those magical bricks of my young days. Seeing some thing which I could buy, my heart felt elated. As I grabbed the box,I felt an overpowering joy. Then my eyes fell on the price. It read 3k .......I had to put it back. There is no justice in this world. When I could buy something the prohibitive price prevented me. Sometimes I wonder if there is any point in growing up. More then half your dreams are shattered and the rest are on a pipe-line on its way to be shattered. If only there was a way of going back, of second chance. Well ... What more could I say except, its another dream broken.